Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
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he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
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That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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