We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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