Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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