She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Its about making memories worth repressing
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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