Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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