well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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