Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize