just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize