Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize