cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
she woke up with a sticky ear
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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