it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize