Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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