I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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