I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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