I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
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We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
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You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm like, not good at living.
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