so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
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I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
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i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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