Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize