i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize