So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
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he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
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Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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