I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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