best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
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It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
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I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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