I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize