yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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