Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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