This girl is more easily done than said...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
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i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize