is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
if only i could text you this smell
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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