I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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