She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
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Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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