Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize