Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
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He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
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and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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