that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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