chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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