That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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