Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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