you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
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I think I sprained my soul last night
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
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And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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