well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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