the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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