you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
last night I used snow as a chaser
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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