PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
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I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
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This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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