I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
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I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
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I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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