Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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