Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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