Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize