I have demons in me.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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