wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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