I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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