I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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