just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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