wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
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Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
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it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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