sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
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