Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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