You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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